There are so many other things I want to learn more about rather than listening I remember thinking as I picked up this book on a “just published” bookshelf. I’m so glad I was wrong and had the courage to crack open the first chapter of this work. Filled with splendid research, anecdotes, and easy takeaways, You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why it Matters is a terrific and joyful read—something I was not expecting. I also discovered that I had a lot more to learn about listening. As President Calvin Coolidge once said, “No man ever listened himself out of a job.”
As you might expect, the book unpacks bad and good listening habits and dispositions as well as what you can do to improve them. Even more interesting are the research tidbits on the relationship between innovation and listening, curiosity and listening, and influence and listening. If you want to become a more curious, innovative, and influential Lutheran high school administrator, this book provides the research and compelling ways you can improve in all of these areas and more.
Another highlight of the book is Murphy’s use of word phrases, analogies, and illustrations to depict powerful listening habits and dispositions. “When someone says something to you,” she writes, “it’s as if they are tossing you a ball. Not listening or half-listening is like keeping your arms pinned to your sides or looking away so the ball sails right past or bounces off you clumsily.” Who wants to play catch with someone who doesn’t even try to catch your toss? Do you listen in the same manner—not catching the other person’s ball toss?
We all know that listening is an important disposition and skill for every leader. Yet too often we see individuals who struggle in their leadership role because they are not good listeners. How good a listener are you?
You’re Not Listening will teach and motivate you to become a better listener. It will also encourage your school and team members to listen to your students, parents, donors, and other constituents more deliberately too. What school can’t use more of that!